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amour propre

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I'll be seeing you . . . [22 Jul 2006|12:18pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

I've decided to leave LJ, since I never used it much anyway.
Migrate yourself to
the xanga

the space


the geocities, again.

ciao, bella - wo ai nee.

[20 Jun 2006|08:29pm]
[ mood | sore ]

I was so busy trying my best to make it perfect, and when I saw him, I felt he was in the way. I shunned him, even pushed him away.. then when I returned, I found myself looking for him, even sad that he was nowhere to be found. But I thought to myself, I'll find him again, won't I? For there's always another day.

=) [29 May 2006|09:15pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

I dreamed I watched you sleep, with a saxophone in your arms.

cleaning out the binder..I found these [26 May 2006|11:00pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

MARCH 17, 2006

My Salutations, Darling
How do you do?
You've snatched my eyes -
they forever look at you.
¡Buenos días, mi corazón!
¿Cómo está usted?
Mis ojos están mirándote
No puedo mirar algo.
Buona sera, mi amore . . .
Signorino, please come inside
We can cuddle by the fire -
within your arms - I ahve
no other desires
Till then, my sweetheart
I'll be seeing you soon
The night has only started
but it seems like decades,
centuries - since we've parted.
Salutations, my dear
You don't even know me
But there's only you
that's able to give me
dragonflies, fireflies, butterflies.
¡Mírame, mi amor!
porque no puedo hacer nada más
quiero estar en sus brazos
y deseo volare con té

and this: (btw, it sucks cuz it's in a meter!)

Dear you, how are you, where are you, dear?
I see that you're well from across the room
Turning to see your beautiful fave
My heart starts to race, twice its pace
Pencil's scribbling jibberish clichés
You see othing of me, nothing of us
While I writh in pain, amor, and lust
Dear love, how are you, where are you, my love?
Do you envision this fantasy, dear?
I can't stop dreaming of you, love
Turning to see me, a tear falls down
You see me smile, but can you hear my heart?
Dear you, how are you?
..oh, Love, I'm fine.

finally, this:

I can pick you out of a crowd
you've got a recognizable face
One moment you're here
then you vanish with a trace
scented the air next to me
the slightest touch makes me shudder
you're just one of those things
I start to crave like no other
I wish to catch your eye
glancing to and fro me
Can I have your heart?
Tell me we're meant to be
It's now or never
Never or now
I'm so deep in this spell
I'd wait forever
to be next to you
clasp onto your hand
But for now, you're just a
little kid I met in marching band

yayah. [16 Apr 2006|09:45pm]
In an unknown place, we admired gold with arms and fingers laced.

cheesyness at its best.. or worst. [30 Dec 2005|01:58am]
[ mood | pleased ]

Poetry embedded in a melody
could be derived from this beating heart
this blood-tinted face
this vibration in the knees
It's suddenly ceased
"vanished without a trace"
I'm falling "back to the start"
faux cupidity
Strings of words heard with the eyes
combustion of cold and "cold as ice"
contradicting the warmth
from this blood-tinted face
that can't just disappear
by pressing delete
or x-ing your box
Intangled my thoughts
squirm in my seat
"I wish you were here"
Coiled in your "embrace"
feel your arms
swallow thy sight
rouge even after you've said good night.

an air castle so sublime [06 Oct 2005|07:02pm]
It was Brave New World, and the end of the world. GREY AND BLACK; fire and the night. I walked with him into an arcade. SOMA filled the air, emancipating feelings of lust, sporadic laughter . . . instant gratification — bursting with euphoria.

I felt him behind me, and felt the gun in my hand. And I saw him in the "game" I was playing. A game where everyone was getting killed except for me — but it was really him in my place.

There was two of him, one who blessed with me with his companionship and one who was under my control; under the control of my trigger.
1 comment|post comment

..something beautiful [01 Oct 2005|07:29pm]
This was written about a week or two ago:

I'm no so tongue-tied
Sometimes, I think I intimidate you —
you intimidate me too.
You don't make me blush
I rarely stumble on words —
Yours are stuck in your throart.
We're inches apart
But the distance is vast —
We'll have to travel by boat.
but other than that, I'm already used to your touch.
This melody needs a portrait
you're so close to the canvas
it's just an evanescent flame

hmm [21 Sep 2005|06:35am]
You know what the perfect relationship ending would be like?

When two people have been dating for years and the guy breaks up with the girl . . .

And when she asks for the reason,

He tells her that he doesn't want her to be his girlfriend anymore;

He wants her to be his wife.
2 comments|post comment

spark of motive. [14 Sep 2005|08:04pm]
oh, the feeling one gets
from such a foolish attraction.
the distraction, and such satisfaction,
like sugar for a baby —
such a sight, it's eye candy.
yes, this feeling I get
whenever that face comes to view
it's madness, pathetic
that I'm feelin euphoric.
Not a hello . . . nor a goodbye
measure the distance and seeing those eyes
accidentally meeting in one place
then held a second too long
now I feel my face
burning from a fever
it's nothing; it's an illusion.
1 comment|post comment

MR<3 [06 Sep 2005|09:14pm]
I'll meet you in the red room; close the doors and dim the lights. I will be yours truly if indeed the price is right. So throw your sword, be my king - Let your passions rise and sing. Just show me the diamonds and I'll let you were my ring
So just lay down beside me, let us consummate. I know you're bursting, let me help you deflate. If you want plug-in for a high voltage connection. Show me cold hard cash and I will turn on my affection.

amiel is a genius.
2 comments|post comment

a tribute to ms. norah jones [30 Aug 2005|07:37pm]
would you like to come away with me and turn me on? i don't know why but i've got to see you again, so i could melt your cold cold heart. When the long day is over, i take the long way home, and I yearn for the nearness of you. What am I to you? you are like a nightingale, the prettiest thing ive ever seen -- who i see creepin in, early in the morning to humble me with those sweet words. Watching the sunrise, I realize, there's never a time where I don't miss you at all. I'm always feeling the same way, I'm always above ground, where I'm in an illusive carnival town. Still, after seven years, we're still like notes to a melody; like a musician and his inspiration, a painter with his illustrated song. I Shoot the moon, and with you, I never miss. Could you be here to love me? I still love you from your head down to your toes, and one flight down from where I am, you're still playing our song.

if you haven't noticed, those are all the songs on her two cds.

adding to the collection [27 Aug 2005|09:28am]
We walked through the garage of this boy's house. When the garage shut, I knew were being held captive. After a few hours, I was able to escape. I was in an open field of cement, more like a parking lot and a voice was telling me what was coming my way. A pack of three dogs who fed on meat, so I had to hop a fence. I didn't know I could, but I did. The voice was still instructing me. Three friends who ate human flesh. I had no way of driving away, so I hopped back over the fence and ran to the garage, which opened up only for me. And then I saw her, and she was the only one I knew there. None of the other people were there. Just her and me and our "kidnapper" asleep on the couch. We walked into the kitchen and I poured myself some mango juice. We interrogated each other for a few minutes and I decided to pour the juice all over our kidnapper's face. He awoke, and I recognized him and once, but I couldn’t put a name to him. His "assistant" who was the voice I heard came into view. And she and I were lead upstairs to a bedroom, the bedroom of his sister. His whole family was upstairs, walking around. And she and I were sitting on a bed with the same minnie mouse bed spread. I don't know whose idea it was, but someone suggested we worry the parents a little. So he was leaning against the bed and me facing him, and our lips touched, and I saw from behind his head, the look on his parents faces, but they walked away. What was I doing? What was happening? The shot was ready, he was going to kill me, but Cupid< was working his magic and shot us both. Not with the needle of death, but the arrow of love. I had the shot with me now, in my back pocket, but I couldn't kill him. I closed my eyes, my arms around him, him embracing me. His friend and mine weren't relevant anymore . . . they just disappeared. But I fell asleep in his arms and awoke the next morning with the pearly white light shining on us both, in the pink bedroom of my kidnapper's sister.
1 comment|post comment

a one night.. insomniac [26 Aug 2005|05:49pm]
[ mood | full ]

I seriously think I had insomnia last night, I couldn't sleep until . . . actually, I don'r know if I had any sleep at all. Everytime I felt "deep" into my sleep, I would wake up. So here's a little something I wrote when I woke up the first time.

I love the euphoria of admiring someone, desiring someone. The nervousness the shaking, the instant happiness of simply seeing that one person. The chills, the weak knees. And the overwhelming joy of feeling your heart thump out of control. The only downside is having your friends poke fun at you -- but it isn't really the downside at all. Because you know down inside, truthfully, you're enjoying it. It's just adding on to your happiness. The real downside is the communication. After realizing or admitting there's an attraction, conversations are awkward. But this is just me. Only I get the cold hands. I'm the only one he "gives a hot and cold fever and he leaves me in a cool, cool sweat."

12:23 AM ; august 26, 2005

okay.. then, it's a collection of dreams. [20 Aug 2005|08:57am]
I remember seeing pearly white and running through it; running from him. But I must admit that I was simultaneously fighting the urge to stay in his arms. Embracing me, leaving pecks on my cheek, my neck. Whilst his arms rest about me, I turned my head and he kissed me on my lips. He spun me around and attempted to kiss me again, but I pulled away. For a reason unknown, I thought it was wrong. Slightly angered him, and he said, "It's okay, if I kiss you like this . . . and like this, but you can't kiss me now?" I couldn't and I did not know why. Then it hit me. It was because it was him. He haunted me in my following illusions. I was in a black livingroom watching television and I heard his voice from across the room, telling someone to move so he could see me. Again, I went to him and he bestowed upon me the caresses that I did not want and want at the same time. Once again, I abandoned him; left him in the livingroom.
3 comments|post comment

annnnnnnd from 2 nights ago. [18 Aug 2005|08:51pm]
Set in a home of white and brown walls, and windows overlooking the traffic. I woke up into the illusion with his arm around me. The couch was brown and I knew I must have spent the night. I asked him at what time did he go to sleep, and he started to answer me. I held his hand and it felt as if he wanted me to leave. Getting up, I completely pushed his hand away and starting walking down the hallway to a room where there was a shrine. my cousins were there, placing some blame on another, so i abandoned his house.

karizy: i love how you put these dreams into art

haha really.. i just use the thesaurus. x]
1 comment|post comment

another dream [15 Aug 2005|03:52pm]
That was the most delightful dream I'd had in weeks. The kitchen was in shades of brown, copper, amber. HE was wearing shades of brown. It was a party, a small get together for this girl that played the flute in band. Everyone was there -- everyone we knew. They were playing a game while he and I were the spectators. And we were close. Got closer. We held onto each others hands and I offered my cheek, which he gladly stroked with his lips. We let go, and he took a few steps towards the crowd, and I found my arms around his waist and he put his arm around me.
1 comment|post comment

This kid needs a Nickname [03 Aug 2005|12:49pm]
You and I are laughing
The sun shining and blinding
Our bodies touching
Open my eyes
"6 inches away"
Insides are dancing
The wind blowing and stinging
Our fingers together
Open my eyes
"6 inches away"
Jeans are touching
Hand brushes yours
Fingers at your lips
Close my eyes
"1 second embrace"

12:34 AM - august 2nd 2005
2 comments|post comment

Cliché Photograph Poem [28 Jan 2005|08:01pm]
in this photograph, i've stolen your smile
you werent so vurnerable and not so easily torn
we would go for miles, holding on yet timidly
i hid the fact that solitude got the best of me

in this photograph, i'm resting on your shouder
i was so oblivious to how i really felt
i felt my feelings flowering, growing into something else
pushing them aside, ignoring answers that shines in front of me

in this photograph, feelings are written
for everyone else except for you and me
implicitly I said I'd love to fall in love with you
questioning if you would want to fall in love with me

in this photograph, is where memories end
photographs can't tell what lies ahead
I wonder if friendship is all that you see
grasping your hand; ive waited for you; you've waited for me

10:56 PM -- January 26, 2005
2 comments|post comment

MLK. MILK ! [17 Jan 2005|06:41pm]
norah jones - the nearness of you

=\ No one broke, but we shall next year. AHHHHHHHH people are leaving next year! =[ MLK was dandy. Except the one person I wanted to talk to the most, was the person I hardly said a word too. How sad. Border's coffee is disgusting and those rolls were yummy.
1 comment|post comment

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